Connor Stoll and the Quest for his Lovelife!
by Potato Jam 7
Summary: Travis has Katie. Percy has Annabeth. And Connor has NOBODY! Connor sets out to find the perfect girl, but when he does, the girl doesn't like him back. What can he do to make her like him? RachelxConnor! Oneshot!DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN PERCY JACKSON AND THE OLYMPIANS!


**Sometimes I feel like Connor Stoll doesn't get enough attention, while his brother Travis is always in the spotlight. So, that's why I am going to make up yet another random story (like Poop on the Roof;)), but this time about Connor! We love you too Connor! ;D**

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN PERCY JACKSON AND THE OLYMPIANS!**

**This is a oneshot!**

Ever since Travis and Katie had been going out, Connor's life had been like crap.

Well, Travis still played pranks with him, and stole stuff with him, but most of the time he was making out with Katie.

Yuck. _Waste of time when you could be pranking, _thought Connor. Then, for a slight moment, he wondered why girls usually liked Travis more than him. Considering they were nearly identical, it was hard to imagine why.

_Same "adorable" hair that girls always go crazy about when it goes in our eyes._

_Same upturned eyebrows that make us look like we might drop a cough drop down your shirt._

_Same crooked smile._

_Same skinny frame, even though we eat like pigs._

_THEN WHY DO THEY LIKE _**HIM**_ MORE!?_

Not that Connor needed some girl to complete him. He was fine alone.

Infact, he wasn't even looking for the perfect lovelife when he went out on a walk all around Camp Half Blood.

OK, fine, he was.

First stop was the beach. He figured that some hot Aphrodite girls might be there, but unfortunately, there were no Aphrodite Girls in sight.

_Dang it_.

So, Connor, depressed that he couldn't find his love life, lay on the sand and decided to do the next best thing: go pranking.

He picked himself up, dusted the sand of his bright orange shirt and jeans and was just about to get up, when he caught sight of Rachel walking over to the beach. For a moment, Connor was paralyzed, and had nothing at all to say. Which NEVER happened to a Stoll.

She was dressed in a light blue v-necked shirt, and her jeans and flipflops had paint smears all over them.

_She's like a beautiful piece of abstract art._

Then, for an instant, Connor thought about somethings he probably shouldn't have.

_Connor, what is wrong with your perverted mind?_

_Nothing. Who knows what TRAVIS thinks about KATIE? Or worse, what PERCY thinks about ANNABETH?_

_Still! You don't need a girl!_

_Yeah,I guess I don't._

Connor quickly unparalyzed himself. _She's just any other girl. She's just any other girl_, Connor said, as he took a step towards her.

"Hey!" he said smoothly. Rachel eyed him suspiciously. They hadn't been the best of friends ever since Connor had spray painted a toilet gold and called it a "lost Picasso sculpture".

"Got any _Picasso's_ for me to see today?"

"Hey! It was a good prank! I even took the time to forge his signature!"

Rachel rolled her eyes.

"Why are you here?"

"None of your business, Stoll"

"Rawr!" Connor said quietly.

"Can a girl paint in peace?"

"Do you like pie?" asked Connor. For reasons unknown to his brains, he wanted to spend as much time around this girl as possible.

The corners of Rachel's lips turned up a bit. "Yeah I guess."

"Oh, cool." Connor momentarily thought that maybe, if they ever dated, they could have a pie throwing war.

_How romantic, _Connor thought wistfully about the pie throwing war.

_She is NOT your girlfriend! You DO NOT like her! You two are NOT going on a date!_

"Um, Bye!" Connor waved and walked away, still feeling totally dazed. Was this how Percy felt around Annabeth? Was this how Travis felt around Katie? Had he seriously found his love life?

_Yes,_ Connor admitted to himself.

The only problem was, his lovelife didn't like him back.

The plan hit Connor like a wave might hit your head if you just pointed out to Percy that he and Annabeth were related.

Unfortunately, Connor knew this from experience.

It was so simple, it was a wonder Connor hadn't thought of it sooner:

_The plan:_

_1) Get out of Camp Half Blood, which is as easy as pie. But pie isn't easy. Wait-how bout boxed cake mix? But that's even hard too! Oooh- look, it's a shiny object!_

_100 steps later…_

_100) Sneak away from the Muesum of Modern Art with your loot._

_There! As easy as pie! Wait! Pie isn't easy! What about cake?! Nah, that's hard….what about boxed cake mix?! Still hard. Oh, it's a butterfly! Wait. Is it pooping on that flower? Do butterflies even poop? Hmmmm..only one way to find out!_

"Hey Annabeth! Can I borrow your magnifying glass?!"

"What for, Stoll?" Annabeth asked suspiciously. _Heck, why is everyone so suspicious of me around here? I'm such an adorable angel it's a wonder I'm number 2 on the Most Wanted Demigods list! I mean, heck, stealing, like, 723 items from Mount Olympus isn't even that bad! Hmmm…I should blackmail those Most wanted list writers…_

"Oh….nothing! Just doing some amazingly interesting scientific research, 'cause I'm such an adorable angel and smart braniac!"

"Yeah, right!" Annabeth said, but gave him the magnifying glass anyway.

"Seriously, what is wrong with you people!?" Connor said as Annabeth handed him the magnifying glass. "You all think I'm such a criminal when really I'm an adorable, cute, hot, innocent , smart…oh, did I mention I was hot?...awesome teenager."

Annabeth smirked at him and walked away. Then Travis went to the small patch of flower and began to study the butterfly.

One and half hours later, Connor reached the deep and awesomely amazing revelation that butterflies do, indeed poop.

Then, while he was holding the magnifying glass, he remembered hearing somewhere that if you aimed the magnifying glass at something with the sun shining through it, you could burn the object. Of course, Connor just had to try this. After all, starting a forest fire or something with just a magnifying glass DID sound like fun….

About three hours later, Connor got bored of holding the magnifying glass in place, so he tossed it at the clover he had been trying to burn. A small flame started and the plastic magnifying glass slowly began to melt, until the small fire went out about five seconds later.

"Whoops!" Connor said, and walked away from the now deformed magnifying glass so he could deny that he'd even been there.

_I guess I'd better get started with that grand easy as I-don't-know-what plan,_thought Connor.

One VERY dramatic even involving about half of all the NYPD and a Picasso painting, and MoMA security guards….

"Safe!" Connor ran straight into Camp Half Blood, dragging a Picasso with him. He really had no time to look at it, he was fast, but not THAT fast. Gingerly, Connor Stoll flipped it over. He felt sort of weird doing it, like he was holding something awesomely amazing in his hands. Connor had never felt that way before when stealing art, and he had already stolen the MONA LISA when his family had taken a trip to France a year back!

That one you see in the Louvre (if you ever have the amazing opportunity to go there)…you're looking at the amazing photocopying work of Connor Stoll.

Still, even that hadn't made Connor feel like he was holding something special.

Was it possible that THE CONNOR STOLL liked _art_?

_Nah._

Connor flipped it over, took a deep breath, and saw…

A BUNCH OF NAKED LADIES?! WHAT THE FUDGE?!

_Oh my gods! I can't give THIS to Rachel! What will she think?! Oh, my gods, oh my gods!?_

_Hey you'll never know if you don't go._

_True._

So, Connor, palms sweating, inconspicuously dragged that Picasso painting over to the beach where Rachel was. As the sun was setting over the horizon, Rachel's fiery red hair made it seem as though she had a halo around her…

_So sappy Con Man. _ (**Yeah, Connor really has a nickname for himself. Don't laugh…he will be sad;))**

**"**Hey, Rachel?"

"Yeah?" she didn't even look up from her painting.

"Do you like Picasso?"

Rachel faced him. "Not another spray painted toilet this time!"

"No I'm serious. Do you like Picasso?"

"Yeaaahh…" _Again with the thinking I'm some kind of criminal!_

"So would you like this." Connor made a pathetic attempt at sounding cool and slick. But hey, we really can't blame him here, he's new with the whole "girls" business.

_Oh, gods, that sounded weird._

Connor pulled out the painting from where was inconspicuously trying to hide it.

"OHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSH! STOLL! I LOVE YOU!" Rachel ran to him and grabbed the painting.

"Stoll, did you steal this?" her eyes suddenly narrowed.

"Wha-me-steal!? Why in the name of Hermes would I do THAT?!"

Suddenly, Rachel grinned from ear to ear and pushed him into the water.

"HEY? WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!" Connor came up drenched.

Rachel still smiled. "You're cute when you lie," she said.

Connor smiled mischeiviously, and dragged Rachel down too.

She came up spitting out water everywhere, hair plastered to her face. "OH, STOLL! YOU'RE GOING TO GET IT!"

She reached for his hair, grabbed it, and brought him up to his face. "Ow!" Connor wined in pain. They were so close now that their noses were practically touching.

And then Rachel kissed him.

And Connor kissed her back.

He wished he could remember something very awesomely amazing about that kiss, but all he could think of was _It tastes like mint chocolate chip icecream_.

The end!

**Hey, I hope you liked it! Definitely not as good as Poop on the Roof, and it is also waaay more corny than Poop on the Roof!**

**I got the line "You'll never know if you don't go!" (you know, when Connor is debating whether or not to give the painting to Rachel) from the world's awesomest song, All Star by Smashmouth!**

**Hey, I think I invented a new pairing here: rachelxconnor! Hmmm…what should I call it? Ronnor? Nah. Conchel? Nah. I don't know!**


End file.
